7-10-06 New Driving Order

A few years back, a comedian named Gallagher was enjoying a fairly hefty amount of exposure on TV. He's still around. Here's his website...

http://gallaghersmash.com/

The picture of him on that site reminds me that he looks like David Crosby's little brother...

Gallagher had a great solution for the problems created by bad drivers on our nation's highways. It involved a complete scrapping of the current system where police use speed detectors and so forth, chasing around all over the place to spot people who just happen to break traffic laws while they're looking. Of course, everybody knows that traffic slows down whenever a cruiser is in sight, and then speeds back up again when the cruiser is gone.

The solution, according to Gallagher, is to issue everyone little dart guns and a supply of ammo. The ammo is simple, just a suction cup dart that will stick to the body of a car. Once the driving population is fully armed with these devices, the police will be able to sit back and let everybody do the job for them.

It works like this. If somebody pisses you off on the road, you shoot a dart at them. The dart sticks to the offending driver's car, and when it does, a little flag pops up with the word "ass-hole" on it. Whenever the police see a car with two or more "ass-hole" flags stuck to it, they pull the car over and give them a ticket. The fine amount will be geometrically proportional to the number of "ass-hole" flags stuck to the car.

Personally, I think that kind of a system would work a lot better than the way they do it now.

Meanwhile, in the real world, something very similar to this has actually been invented, and the LAPD is going to be testing the system this fall...

http://www.livescience.com/technology/060708_popsci_starchase.html

It's a very short article, so go ahead and read it.

I'm pretty sure that once this catches on, it'll mean the end of "World's Wildest Police Chases" on TV.